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Intoxicate Me.
PROFILE • FRIENDS • CALENDAR • [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a <p>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <img src="header.gif" class="x" style="
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<a href="http://livejournal.com/~adhesive/info">PROFILE</a> • <a href="http://livejournal.com/~hydriads/friends">FRIENDS</a> • <a href="http://livejournal.com/~hydriads/calendar">CALENDAR</a> • <a <p />
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[29 Jun 2009|04:12am] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) 123insert! Spread it like herpes.
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[01 Oct 2007|08:24pm] |
So i live with my boyfriend now, which is lovely for the time being.
But shit sucks otherwise. :(
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[25 Aug 2007|07:49pm] |
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mdma.
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[13 Aug 2007|11:51am] |
jaypaul moves back in 2 days.
sooo excited!
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[04 Aug 2007|12:37pm] |
sink joey sink (12:35:44 PM): wrong.
sink joey sink (12:35:46 PM): so shut up.
lol hahaha totaly diffrent person lol
has compleattly changed.
i've herd it all before but some things never change.
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[03 Aug 2007|12:55pm] |
down today.
i think it's complicated.
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[27 Jul 2007|08:29pm] |
i'm on higher doses of muh meds, more seritonin for me :)
i'm giddy as FUCK right now.
lol ya'll don't even know. i'm happy as ballz.
well.
i guess ballz are happy?
i'm as happy as happy ballz.
that's my story and i'm sticking to it.
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[24 Jul 2007|11:55am] |
Me: "Sam! you've been drinking that beer for an hour and it's still HALF FULL!"
Sam: "well, at least your optimistic."
LOL.
good one.
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[24 Jul 2007|11:32am] |
yesterday kinda sucked.
Jaypaul and i had a talk and i donno it wasn't good.
but it wasn't bad eather.
but i was definatly not happy about the whole thing.
And it's not helping that my moodswings are back.
I just think it's so hard to have strong feelings for someone who is so reserved, it hurts me. I think he realises this, but ultimatly i'm willing to accept that he doesn't want to talk about his problems.
On Friday night i was so pist because he was going to roll with Sam and Kevin and no one even told me (let alone ask me if i wanted a tab, fuck my friends and their unessisary need to "protect" me) and i started getting mad telling him i'm not going to date someone that was going to hide shit like that from me. He kind of smiled and said "fran, like i'd take ex and not tell you, lol and like you wouldn't figure it out, be real your right here with me the whole time." i kind of laughed (because a. he's right and b. i'm a tard. but really though why not ask me if i wanted a friggen tab or two?!) but he just held me and said "fran, your all i need." he's a sweet guy...sometimes lol.
I'm not worried (anymore) we make a good team and he's willing to stick with me threw all the bullshit that happens, and don't kid yourself there's a lot of bullshit that happens to me on a weekly basis.
i'm getting fustrated though, i mean.
The anxiety is creeping back up on me, and my moodswings are definatly back.
but hey. it could be worse right? just keep my chin up that's all i gotta do and things will get betta i'm sure. (i hope.)
Muh boys are comming tomarrow to go see ironage i'm pretty excited.
i love kevin and jayp.
throw down tomarrow night.
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[23 Jul 2007|09:42pm] |
I took Cutie for a ride in my Death Cab
she tipped me with a kiss, I dropped her off at the meth lab
before she left she made a Dashboard Confessional
and spilled her guts in Cursive but whats worse is
I could still see her Bright Eyes like Sunny Day Real Estate
oh my and in a funny way this irritates
so high but no chance
My little Chemical Romance left a bad taste in my mouth
but I imposed her like, "Hey Mercedes why the long face?
why you cryin? theres no need
just put on this Coheed and Fallout"
Boy meets girl Jimmy Eat World
but Schlep eats pills till hes all out
not once not twice she was Thrice times a lady
actin all Brand New, but I had to
bounce over to The Postal Service(s) to
pick up these pills that take care of my nervousness
and all the way I saw Planes that were Mistooken for Stars
she played games but she took em too far
At the Drive In
watching soft porn and you can tell
By the Trail of the Dead, that there was somethin in the popcorn
I hop in my cab destination Midtown
just to Get Up with some Kids that like to get down
I'd made my rounds and that was that
In between the frowns and scraps and heart attacks
and I remember I seen her ass in Early November
on a Thursday, Taking Back Sunday for a refund
she shot a wink like no hard feelings
then she Jetted to Brazil man them pills had me spun
yea, this is The Story of the Year right here
this is Hot Water Music
put ya Ramen into it
haha i heard this at work and laughed a bit.
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[23 Jul 2007|01:53pm] |
Shot at 2007-07-23
my other half.
she's so beautiful isn't she?
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[22 Jul 2007|12:56pm] |
bad things happened yesterday.
i couldn't take my pill because they were with sam...
a. i lost controle of my hands.
b. it felt like a huge person was sitting on my chest.
c. i couldn't talk, and if i did it came out as slured sounds.
d. i puked everywhere.
e. i couldn't walk and jaypaul had to hold me up while i staggered into the bathroom.
f. huge. panic. attack.
it was shit.
now i'm just sad these pills are not doing me any good right now.
i'm sad for no reason.
i'll be talking to my doctor about that soon.
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[21 Jul 2007|08:03pm] |
Let's make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane.
Please don't say we'll never find a way
And tell me all my love's in vain.
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[20 Jul 2007|09:48am] |
Spoken fast enough to spark a memory into everyone's tired mind!
Built upon a cross of clothes and thorns of wrinkled scarves,
And hung from a ceiling, and sent to every child's living room.
Hey all, today is going to be lonnnggg.
i gotsta see my phsychietrist, then i get to go to work and finaly then i get to go to Austin to see my boy.
I'm bringing Spammy this time cuz she's dating Kevin and all.
Wich is cool but i bet that means they are going to be calling me and JP a lot...that's not necisarily a bad thing but we like our alone time ya know?
To all the kids who are worried about Jaypaul and I.
I swear he treats me right, not perfect, but better than what I’m use to.
I honestly don’t know why everyone is so worried.
I mean, I saw no one voicing their concerns when I was being left in parking lots to have panic attacks, spit on, yelled at, or cheated on.
where were you then?
No where.
Yet now I have a boy who NEVER lies to me (even though sometimes I wish he would), he holds me when I cry, he knows my secrets, all of them, even my darkest secret, the secret that had never been uttered from my mouth until Jaypaul came into my life...It took so much to say... I had never told anyone and it killed me to even say it…I can think about it now, which is monumental, but I still can’t SAY it.
Yea. Lets drop that part shall we?
But he takes me out to eat at NICE places.
Buys me “hey I missed you” presents (I love my watch)
makes me laugh all day and night.
Tells me I’m beautiful.
Has my back all the time waiting to kick ass for me if need be.
I love when I wake up in the morning and his big gorgeous blue eyes are staring into mine and without words he pulls me towards him and kisses my forehead.
I love the way he picks me up and carries me to bed.
and the way his shirts fit.
I love the way we don’t have to hold hands all the fucking time, but sometimes we do anyway just for fun.
I love that when I get all dolled up he stops me and kisses me and calls me “georgeous”
I love the way he’s happy/proud I’m his girl.
I love the way he KNOWS I’m never going to stray.
I love the way I KNOW he’s never going to stray.
I love that he wants me to move to Boston with him.
And that he’s a race car driver. (it’s hot.)
I love that he snuck out with his dad’s Vet just to take me for a ride.
And I love that he’s a good person.
A honest, good person.
That in and of it’s self is more than what I’m use to.
Jaypaul Rawks (10:28:00 AM): parties this weekend, its going down
Francakes007 (10:28:12 AM): yessssss Jaypaul Rawks
(10:29:49 AM): i think party at the art house tonight, then show tomorrow and gads having a keg
Francakes007 (10:30:58 AM): OOOO fun!! so we will be there tonight at around 1130 ish.
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[18 Jul 2007|09:33pm] |
Francakes007 (9:25:58 PM): keeviinnnnnn
clockworkoioioi (9:26:12 PM): fran!!!!
I love my friends.
well, Jaypaul's friends, but they are my friends too.
loves it.
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[18 Jul 2007|08:40pm] |
Can you put the bite back into the beast you've broken, tied and tamed?
Can you crease the wrinkles back into the cracked and open brain?
So doctor won't you pull the fucking plug?
Oh, won't you cut the cord?
'Cause you can't put the life back into this hospital ward.
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[18 Jul 2007|02:48pm] |
life needs to chill out for a while.
for reals.
i'm looking for apartments.
i just paid off my car and car insurance. (expensive.)
i had to use my school money for bills. so i don't have that right now.
i work as much as i can, but i get sick of people easy when i'm dealing with haters and their BULLSHIT games.
not to mention i just got out of a week long stay at the hospital.
gotta live gotta live gotta live in SHIT TOWN.
i just want to move away...and i'm going to. but i'll be in shithole san antonio for another year before i[we] move.
i feel sick.
to know that i ever uttered kind words to joey.
let alone everything i did for him.
i feel like i've been raped.
and in a way i was.
because if i knew him, the real him...
such an ugly ugly mess they are.
i LITERALY get sick thinking about the past 3 years.
so i just won't think about it.
Joey [as we knew him] is dead.
morn acordingly.
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[17 Jul 2007|10:25pm] |
ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWNNNNNNN
lol.
hahaha it's the final countdown.
i'm drunk. and i'm watching arested development.
hahaha haha "hey there deliliah i'm a boy who needs to grow a pair..." lol i hate that song. Spammy is always making fun of me cuz she's like "fran you wouldn't like it if jaypaul sung that song to you?!" and my responce is alwyas "there is no way jaypaul would sing that lame ass song to me he'd sing baby god back if anything" and then we both drift off into our imaginations where jaypaul and i are laying in bed and he starts singing baby got back.
Too bad it would totaly happen. Thank fucking god our sex is is so good he forgets to talk because one night we watched pirates and he thinks its funny to quote bad porn durning sex lol. He owes me a muffin, a night of sex and laughter owes me a muffin lol...i'm never getting that damn muffin...i love that boy so much. lol i really do. we are the same exact person ever. i love him so much.
sque he's pefect for me in every way.
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